Parenting

Jeff is clearly a better parent than I am, and Alison and I are both lucky we have him.

She's been sneaky lately, and it's getting out of hand.

While I was engrossed in one of my new books this weekend, Alison was wandering around looking for a playmate. I played a game of Trouble with her, but pleaded for time to read. I told her she could get some books and we could read together. She did, for a while, but then got fidgety, and I said she could go in my room and watch TV. (Bad parenting example No. 1)

What I didn't know was that Jeff had banned her from TV that afternoon. When he came upstairs to find her happily sprawled on my bed glued to the set, he was less than thrilled. He brings her out to the living room (where I am) for a chat. I started to defend her, telling him I'd sent her to TV.

"Alison, you knew Dad didn't want you watch TV, didn't you?"

"Yes, dad."

"And you watched anyway, didn't you?"

"Yes, dad."

He talked with her a little bit about how she was 7 now and knew very well that she should have told Mom about the rule. He sent her to her room.

I sat there, looking over the cover of the book, thinking, man. I caused some of that. But he was right and she needed "to go think about this." Plus, I still got to read.

Later, he decided they should go practice her biking without training wheels and when they ot back they'd go swimming. All was well until he saw her swimming bag, which had doubled as an overnight bag. She'd asked if she could take a container of gum to the sleepover/birthday party she attended Saturday. He'd said no. She snuck it in anyway, and the evidence fell out of her bag.

Man was he furious. Back to the couch. Longer lecture on honesty. No swimming. Back to her room to think things over. The first time, she was chastened, hid her head and was slightly sorry. This time, she cried. She'd really disappointed him, and she knew it.

He came back from his police escort to her room, sat down on the couch and we just looked at each other. Parenting is hard. I'm glad he was more focused this weekend than I was.

He was so good with her. I would have been disappointed, and I would have lectured her. But when I found out that she shared all of her gum with the other girls, I was less unhappy with her. Being so generous is a good think, I'm thinking. But she did flout the directive. And she was sneaky. Jeff holds his ground better than anyone I know, but he wasn't a jerk about it.

I contributed a tiny bit to Alison's pain by making her come with me to get my new books. She really wanted to play computers at the library, but she was "on punishment." At the bookstore, she sat with me and read a bunch of books and really wanted a couple. But she was "on punishment."

She took it really well and behaved really well. She gets it that she's on thin ice. I think she may have learned a lesson. Me, too.