Extremeties.

Speaking of books, Amy Tokash has me hooked on the Twilight Series, whose premise you wouldn't think a Vacation Bible School teacher would dream to read, let alone push on the unsuspecting. This from the woman who tried to shield her kids from Harry Potter!

Just check it out. It'll make you ignore your family and skip meals.

Jeff and Ali, as I type, are off on their own. He's trying to get her to embrace the idea of riding her bike without training wheels. I've just finished the book and am thinking of heading down to the library to see if the second one is in. If it's not, I may have to go to Barnes and Noble. All of this while my New York Times sits in pristine, unfolded condition on the kitchen counter. Thanks, Amer.

And speaking of Alison, she's been on a disappointing tear lately, and I fear to leave her alone with her father. She agreed to T-ball but didn't fall in love with the game. She didn't like the noise of tap dancing and she's trying to escape ballet now. On the way to class on Saturday morning, she kept telling me that she didn't really want to go.

"What don't you like about it," I asked, mentally tallying up the cost of the lessons thus far, plus the recital fees and costumes, not even flinching at the time I've spent trapped in a small room with crazy mothers whose stories nearly drove me insane.

"Well, there are all these rules."

"Like what?"

"Well, you can't play on those bars (yeah, she means the barre). You can't hang on them or climb on them even if all you want is to look out the window," she said.

"Well, Alison, there are rules in every thing you do. You need to learn them and follow them," I reasoned. "Isn't there anything about ballet you like?"

"I like seeing Jenna. But we get in trouble when we play and don't listen to the teacher."

"Well, yeah, Ali. You're there to learn to dance. Don't you know that ballet will help you with everything? Even football players and basketball players take ballet to improve their game. I never took ballet and I wish I had. It helps you know how to dance to any music. It will make you be graceful."

"But Mo-om. I don't want to be graceful," she exclaimed. "I want to be extreme."

"What's extreme?"

"Oh, you know, roller coasters and skateboard and running and tag and doing things you make up on your own. You know, no rules. Extreme," she said, serious as she could be.

"Well, Ali, those extreme sports guys who do tricks, they first learned how to do it right. They know the rules so they can break them. And you know, I don't know any extreme sports stars who still ride bikes with training wheels."

"Well. I don't need to be that extreme," she said.