Sunday, August 7, 2011


Ack! Ack! Ack!

Amy Tokash, deep into the night Saturday is waxing poetic about something and digs deep into the jalapeno peanuts I brought home from Scottsdale. Mild taco sauce is a walk on the wild side for Amer. There are brands of ketchup too zippy for her. Remember that scene in Big when Tom Hanks tries caviar and then tries to clean his tongue with a napkin? I thought Amy was going to rip out her tongue. Hilarious.

You Might be a Redneck...
Waiting for Denise McFadden at the Elbow Room, I'm next to a bunch of overweight white guys on their office break. One of them says to his friends: "Yeah, they told me at work I can't bring my gun anymore. But you can betcha I've got it in my car. Heh. Heh. Heh." Dude: this is not Kabul. It's Indianapolis. You work in an office and lunch at the Elbow Room. Idiot.

Creepy or Cool?
Alison went to a birthday party at Xsite laser tag. It's a fun place with a small arcade where you play games, win tickets and redeem them for stuff your mom ordinarily wouldn't want in your house. We are over-run with plastic frogs here at Chez Reed. Anyway, I go to pick her up and she's still trying to use all of her tokens. We're on a schedule so I urge her to finish up.

The kid at the redemption counter must have just gotten high, laid, or was on his last day of work before school kicked in. Ali was coveting a lava lamp labeled 2500 tickets. She had 700+ tickets. He asked what she wanted. She told him, but admitted she didn't have enough tickets. "Heck, you really want that?" "Uh-huh." "OK then." And home she trots with a lava lamp. Best goodie bag ever, though. She's been trying to filch Jeff's lava lamp since he got it.

Last week, we picked Ali up from Camp FlatRock. Among the highlights of the week was climbing this monstrosity. It's 50 feet at the top. I thought Jeff was going to vomit just looking at the thing.

Some of you may remember that coming home from Greene County a while ago, we ran over a snake on a two-lane country road. I was a passenger, so my admittedly over-the-top reaction of horror was mostly funny and not a danger to anyone. No one believed me that there are ways those things can get into the vehicle and that running over them doesn't necessarily mean they're flattened. They might be wrapped around the frame, plotting for their invasion. But now, I have proof of the wiliness of the serpent. How these folks kept the vehicle on the road, I don't know. Regardless of the seat I occupied inside this vehicle, there would have been mayhem. Possibly death. Certainly a multiple-care pile-up on the interstate.

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