Losing my Religion (w/apologies to R.E.M)

Alison is in trouble in Religion class again.

She got a conduct cut a while ago for reading a book of a non-religious nature while she was supposed to be paying attention to her teacher. I didn't take that too seriously -- my sister Donna and I (and probably all of us) were notorious for reading all kinds of trashy novels in church, in school and whenever we had the chance.

But yesterday, Ali brought home her second assignment in a row with a less-than-stellar grade from her Religion class. Just like last week, it sat there in her stack of work, trying to hide itself among the 100 percents for math and spot-on spelling tests.

The girl loves math, which is no mean feat given her gene pool. But as my childhood preachers used to say, "That girl's done backslid." I'm sure they'd slip into high gear to save her soul, urging me to spare the rod and spoil the child or something like that.

We had a chat:

"What's going on here with this Religion homework," I say, placing the offending grade on the bed beside her.

"Mom," she sighed, very seriously, looking me straight in the eye. "I just hate Religion."

In my head, I'm thinking, "Who can blame you?" Out loud, I say, "Honey, it's just another subject like math or social studies. You have to pay attention and do the work. Should we put this paper on the refrigerator so we will remember to pay attention?"

Horrified, she started to cry. Like most houses where short people live, our refrigerator is where we show off her report cards, drawings and other positive stuff.

"But Mom, Religion is just flat-out, dang boring," she protested.

In my head, I'm thinking, "And math isn't?" But out loud, I say: "Ali, there are lots of things in life that you won't want to do. Your lesson here is that you have to pay attention to Religion just like math or social studies or spelling. How many times a week do you have Religion any way? Once?" (She goes to church on Wednesdays, so it seemed like the class could be that day, too.)

"No! It's every stinkin' day!" she said. Fat tears leaked out at an alarming rate. Said she wanted to go to a school next year where you don't have danged Religion every dang day. "All they do is talk, talk, talk, talk, talk about saints and dead people!"

I held pretty firm, but was wondering if the catholic schools let up a bit after 2nd grade, where it all leads up to confirmation in the spring. I like our school, and she does, too, for the most part.

We're sending her to Christ the King, at least a little bit, because we don't attend a church (I just don't trust organized religion, but I'm rejecting based on 16 years of steady attendance at the Coalmont Church of God.) I want Alison to have a good basis from which to judge. She can then reject or accept based on that. Academically, the school is great. It's safe, it's close, and they focus on good behavior.

And Riddle me this Batman: She hates Religion class, right? But this week we had some sad news: our principal's wife died unexpectedly. We were talking about it, and Alison got really teary about it and feels just terrible for Mr. Stewart and wants to go to the service/visitation to try to make him feel better.

She was the only one in her class who thought to give him a Valentine yesterday. "I share my birthday treats with him; why not give him a Valentine?" she reasoned.

In a WWJD context, I think Alison Reed's soul is in fine shape, but I'm not sure I'm worthy to judge.

Do they let Religion flunk-outs into Heaven?