5 Things I Learned at the Gym Today

5. No one looks good with words splashed across their ass. No one.

4. Men should wear long, loose shorts when they’re working out in public.

3. You should never actually speak to, or make eye contact with, that cute guy you sneak peeks at.

2. The people who look good while working out piss me off.

1. Working out sucks unless you’re with a friend who agrees with points 1-5.