Goddammit Doris!

The other day, out on a walk, Alison heard an elderly lady crossing Broad Ripple Avenue. She was calling for help and Ali went to help her.

I looked back, saw what was happening and went to help as well. Jeff had gone ahead and didn't hear anything. We'd both noticed a police car and fire truck at the area where the Monon Crosses the avenue but we were headed west so we didn't get to find out what that was all about.

With Ali and I on each side of her, the lady hurried us along the the sidewalk. When she said. "I hate the police, they're a**holes," I remembered the flashing lights and officials vehicles.

I asked her where we were going. She said she wanted to get around the corner and go home. I bit my lip, but she was trembling, so we just sped up. She asked us if we liked Donald Trump. Ali snorted and said no. I think she then linked the police to the Donald.

Jeff figured out we weren't with him and turned around to see us as we got to the corner. As we turned, I heard the police car siren blip. I turned back to see it coming our way.

"Um, ma'am, are they looking for you?" I said.

She gripped harder and mumbled something in the affirmative. The police and fire officials stopped on the street in front of us. The lady said something uncomplimentary. The office smiled wide and said something pleasant. He looked at me and asked if we knew her?

We loosened our grips simultaneously and backed away, shaking our heads no.

And the fugitive was apprehended. Actually, I think they just took her home. We don't know why they were after her, but she just wanted to go home and I'm pretty sure she got there. After doing our good deed, we decided fleeing the scene was our best next step.

Jeff was regaling his office co-workers with this story when he was given another one, and that story has now spawned a terrible phrase that I fear TeamReed Indy will be using for the rest of our days.

It involved the spouse of a co-worker who was working away at his library job when a woman wheeled her self in her wheelchair. She was upset when she arrived, calling out that the "pedos" were after her. "The pedos are after me! The pedos are after me!"

The guy went to her to see if he could help her. She got more agitated.

He asked again. She got even more upset. "Ma'am, there aren't any pedos here. We're a library. I can call the police if you want."

She flung herself out of the chair and flopped on the floor. About this time, the police arrived, as another librarian had been quicker to the trigger. The officer, assigned the neighborhood, walked in, took one look around and sighed.

"Goddammit Doris, get up. These people don't need your sh*t, they're trying to run a library here."

The lady looked up at him, and said, "What?"

She then hopped back in her chair and wheeled herself away with the officer shaking his head behind her.

It's not that we don't have sympathy for either of these ladies. We do. We even discussed how we hoped they had friends and family to check in on them from time to time and we hoped they had the essentials that they need.

But whenever either of us does something exasperating, or silly, we do find ourselves saying, "Goddammit Doris!"

Parents of the year, here. :)