Sunday, December 30, 2012

Can it really be over?

Jeff and I were sitting on the living room couch yesterday, basking in the glow of the fireplace. We'd just met new and old friends over cocktails and appetizers. Alison, tummy full of roasted marshmallows, had commandeered the family room.

We were alone.

And two months away from 15 years of wedded bliss (mostly) we still like each other.

It was the early evening of our second consecutive day of shoveling the driveway. We'd unpacked from our trip, and I'd spent the morning and early afternoon clearing away some of the house's year's worth of grime. I had had a glass or two of wine.

In my haze of musculatory exhaustion, slight inebriation and proximity to the man who contributes much to my level of happiness, I was damn near immobilized. And yes, baby. It was cold outside.

Our house could be bigger. I could have cleaning and lawn care services to lighten the household load. We could be living far larger than we do. But I just can't summon up the ambition for those things.

We must have sat there for more than an hour, talking a little bit but mostly just nibbling on leftovers and sipping our drinks. Jeff could have been plotting the overthrow of his coming fantasy baseball league for all I know, but I think we were both mostly thinking about the state of our being. And I think we jointly determined that there really isn't much about our lives that needs fixing.

Here's what I want for 2013:

1. I want Alison to conquer her respiratory issues, to be totally healthy, to be happy and to be as good a friend throughout her life as she is right now to her little set of buddies. If I was a better mother, I'd wish for her romantical dreams to be realized but I just can't bring myself to that just yet. I want another year or 12 of little girl not this tween who pines for puberty to really strike and who frets about her popularity.
2. I want Jeff to find a car his actuarial self can justify, that won't give out in rush hour traffic and will give him a modicum of vehicular fun. I want him to be able to play basketball without lingering pain and not to get too fixated on his work with Kelsey in the coming year. I want him fit, not fanatical so much that I will have to work harder, too...
3. I want my friends and family to be safe, happy and healthy and to continue to consider us part of their collection of friends and family.
4. I want Jeff and me to keep our jobs and be better at them in the coming year.
5. I want to want to read more intellectual or business-focused books this year so I'm smarter. OK. That's a lie. I want more of the stuff that's kept me pedaling. I'm just not that deep.

I've also not yet found the kinder, gentler person I keep thinking might be buried somewhere within me. I need more patience. I need to be slower to believe the worst is about to happen. I'd still much rather sit around eating pizza and cookies than eat well and exercise.

But all things considered, I've got no complaints. Oh wait. Yes I do!

1. We traveled to Maine, land of snow, only to find green grass and double digit temps. While it did snow as we left, we came home to the winter wonderland we'd planned to visit and then leave behind.
2. My iPod turned on me was replaced (thanks, Reeds!) with a newer, fancier version. Now, on top of still having to learn more about my iPad and iPhone, I have to figure out the new music. Ugh. Learning. Bah.
3. I'm going to think of other stuff. I'm sure there's a bunch. Maybe.

Until I remember what's on my complaint list, I will report that we had another great Christmas in Maine.

+ Alison continued her streak of domino domination.
+ Jeff and Peter toured a vodka distillery and emerged with all kinds of ideas for new drink cococtions.
+ David and James are planning a commitment ceremony next year that will mean we get to go back in warm weather.
+ Our cookie's with Auntie Jen was another fabulous success.
+ We got to spend time with Team Sturtevant, and:
+ We're all salivating at the thought of another Spring Break together in the islands together.

This year seemed to fly faster by than years past. I'm OK with skipping some of the cold and snow parts to get to islands and summer. But I'd like it to slow down for those parts. Let me know if you know how to make that happen.

Meanwhile, Happy New Year!

I know I should probably list out a bunch of hope for a better world full of peace, good weather and no more violence toward each other. Much as I'd like to think that if I had the power that would make those things happen, that I'd use it only for good and not evil.

But I'd probably have to get back at a few people first. And then I'd get carried away. And then, well, then I'd be in Congress.

So let's not hope for that. Let's just focus on our own selves. Maybe if we do that, some of the peace will come about, as the SEO and green people say, organically.

No comments: