Saturday, October 20, 2012

Goodby old friends

It's been a difficult week.

Sure, I was off work Thursday and Friday for Alison's Fall Break, and we did manage to get those pedicures and have some fun.

But two things happened that put a pall on the fall festivities.

First, news of the death of my lawnmower was neither premature nor exaggerated.

I'd hoped my full confession to Ray, the highly rated and local Lawnmower Man, would magically absolve me of my neglect. He had an open smile, two cats and not an ounce of judgement. when I told him that it was possible that I'd run it dry of oil.

When he called with the death notice, he said the problem was a broken cam shaft.

"What might cause a cam shaft to break, Ray," I asked.

He hesitated just a bit and then said, "Well, a lack of oil."

There it is. My fault. He could fix the thing, he said, but it would cost nearly as much as a new model. He advised me to buy new and offered to dispose of the body.

He's a good man. I'm a bad mower owner.

The second incident wasn't entirely my fault. As you know, Jeff's been very supportive in my zeal to improve my diet and follow the Weight Watchers rules.

He calculates points like a weight loss ninja. So when he told me that bag of 97 percent fat-free popcorn was 3.5 points, I didn't bother to double-check.

Instead, I'd say I've downed a few acres of blessed corn just this year Its only 3.5 points! And you get a lot.

Almost too good to be true, right? No. It was exactly too good to be true.

The recalculation done in response to my WW coach's eyebrow level: 6 points.

My daily allowance is 35 points if I work out; 32 if I don't. Looks like more carrots and less corn in my future.

I'm probably just as stingy at spending Weight Watchers Points, as I am real dollars, so it's hard to decide if the lawnmower's passing was worse than popcorn-gate.

On the plus side, I can't really attack the lawn today. On the minus side, the lawn work would have earned me enough activity points to have some popcorn.

Some days it just doesn't pay to be me.

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