No offence, Mom

I've been semi cranky all day. Jeff could argue the semi-ness of it, but I'm sticking with semi.

I don't know if it's because a high school friend's brother died and I'm thinking about her, her family and my brother, David, or that a current friend's mother died and I'm thinking about her, my parents and my mother-in-law.

Or if it's that Ali goes back to school this week and she seems to be slipping more away from me toward her own self-ruled life every day. Or if I'm going back to work tomorrow after play-acting at being a stay-at-home mom.

Or if it's because not only did I find my old bathroom scales during a cleaning frenzy but I made this horrible discovery in the same week that I slipped up big time on the diet. And yeah, I've been stepping on the damn thing like a closet smoker sneaking out to the garage so the family doesn't find out she's back on the nicotine.

Whatever it is, I'm ready for it to pass. As in now.

Alison is off at a sleepover with her friend Dominic. She'll be there for part of the day tomorrow and then she'll try his tae kwon do class while I attend the CKS Back-to-School night for parents. If she likes it, she'll go every Monday and Wednesday night.

Dominic and Ali are members of a club they started in first grade. It's Ali and a bunch of boys dedicated to Pokemon and Mario. They used to play Total Drama Island at recess. Ali brought the marshmallows for a while. They used them to vote people off the island -- the one without the mallow got booted. They had to stop due to some issue with there not being enough marshmallows for everyone or something about the confection being contraband. I don't remember why they mallows got banned, only that they did.

During a short playdate Friday, Alison and Dom were talking about how they would get the gang together again - the one thing she's admitting to looking forward to come Thursday and her first day of fourth grade.

It might be good to get everyone back on a regular schedule. Summer's been great - the last few days especially.

Excerpts from a couple of hours of the Alison and Dominic show.

I was driving them somewhere and I said something in response to Dominic. It was hilarious but only I got the joke. I informed my seat-mates of my comedic genius.

"Mr. Reed is funnier," Dominic informed me.

"No way," I responded.

"Way."

"No offense, Mom, but he’s funnier," chimes in the light of my life.

"What?! Prove it."

Dominic came up empty, as I knew he would.

But Ali, without hesitation, says, "Remember when I was at camp and he was taking care of my Facebook pets and he wrote and said my dogs were all sad but he didn’t know if it was because they were hungry or if you were making them listen to country music? That was hilarious."

Dominic, not to be undone, chimes in, "It’s true, Mrs. Reed. He’s way funnier than you. No offence."

"Yeah, no offence, Mom."

***


They were playing some video game. "Hey Alison, you won. Congratulations!"

"Thanks."

"Of course you only beat me by 3 feet."
"Uh. Dominic don’t you ALWAYS win that game?"

"Yeah. I always play it on easy…."

***

Leaving the Jordan YMCA, Alison accidentally shut the door on Dominic as we were leaving. "It’s all good, dog."

This may not seem as funny to you reading this as it was to me hearing it from an 8-year-old, who was absolutely not trying to be funny.

***

That picture at the top of this post is a self portrait Alison took at her sleep-away camp. Doesn't she look like she's ready to hit the road like some flower power child? She'd been playing in the mud just before that.

I'm going to go weigh myself now. Maybe I'll do sit-ups first. Or run around the block in this still searing heat. Yeah. Probably not...

Dag. And I thought I was past the cranky....