Nachos for Thanksgiving

I was seriously hoping to have nachos for our Thanksgiving Dinner yesterday. It seemed so easy. We all love nachos. We make them as healthy as they can possibly be (not very)and there's like no mess.

It's the first year that we stayed home, just the three of us, and I was really excited about the low-key, no travel, no make-up opportunities. Thanksgiving has always gone to my side of the family, and we have a starch fest, generally. Mashed potatoes with noodles on top, Donna's yeast rolls, sweet potatoes, and turkey, of course.

Alison doesn't like turkey. And she prefers her mashed potatoes to be covered in Heinz chicken gravy. She doesn't eat chocolate, any kind of pie or cake or pudding. I'm sure that will serve her well later, but it used to bother me at family feasts. I've learned that she'll find what she'll eat and be able to make it through the holiday just fine, but it amazes me.

So nachos seemed like a great idea.

But then Karin and the kids came over Thanksgiving morning and I ended up at Kroger with her. She was picking up last minute things for her family's traditional feast. She uses fresh cranberries to make some sort of gelatinous goo -- they all love it.

I bought cranraisins thinking I might make stuffing or salad. the cranberry thing just sounded dangerous. Apparently you know they're ready when they explode.

I was inspired, but not stupid. I can blow up a stove all on my own doing regular stuff. I didn't need to introduce exploding fruit.

So there I was: ready to put on an apron and make a real Thanksgiving dinner for my family. Did you know Kroger only sells turkeys are frozen rock solid and need 24 hours to defrost? That's not really helpful to last-minute chefs. It was 9:30 before she came over, and we didn't get home until after 10.

So I picked up some turkey breasts, some gravy, an enormous sweet potato, and some green beans. Later, I decided we needed a pumpkin roll and Ali and I drove all over Broad Ripple looking for one.

There were no pumpkin rolls anywhere on Thanksgiving morning, but we did find an unfrozen turkey breast at Marsh. Ali said she'd prefer KFC, but she settled for March fried chicken.

Jeff loves tiramisu, so we bought that in lieu of pumpkin roll or pie. (No, I never thought about trying to make a pie or pumpkin roll. The turkey was intimidating enough.)

It all seemed to come together; nothing blew up, and I forgot about the cranraisins. We had garlic bread instead of Donna's rolls. I even set the table with our fancy Fiesta plates.

Jeff and Ali cleaned up. I hit the couch. And not 10 minutes later, I started hearing funky noises coming from my stomach. I was sick all night. Freezing cold. Sweating bullets. It has not been my finest hour.

Ali and Jeff are fine, so it appears that I poisoned only me.

I knew we should have had nachos.