The Report is in

Alison got her report card today. I knew it was coming, but I'd forgotten about it by the time I went to pick her up from school. She was playing on a computer when I got there and I had to get her attention.

She looked up, worried. "Mommy, today I got my report card," she said.

Unconcerned, I said, "Yeah. I bet you did great."

"Well," she said. "There's something I need to tell you."

She was so worried, I got concerned.

"There's one part I don't understand," she said. "Do you know what ginder means? Maybe it's genfal. I can't remember what it is, but Mommy, there's an "F" under it."

She had the exact demeanor she has when she has to confess a conduct cut and for the life of me, I couldn't figure out what she was talking about. "Gandalf? Gimlet? Grasshopper? WTF???!!!"

We sat down right there in the hallway and opened up her backpack. You're probably smarter than I am and figured this out already.

There, on the top line above the columns that listed out her "A's" for schoolwork, her B+ for conduct and her B for handwriting, was her identification. Student: Alison Reed. Grade: 2. Gender: F.

I wanted to laugh so much, but she was near tears, fearing she'd failed something she couldn't pronounce. She was much relieved to add to her vocabulary. I'm sure we'll laugh about it soon.