Of nests, empty and full and friends to the rescue

I've been super lucky in the friend department. Some come via family, some through school, others through work and friends of friends.

Recently, one of them suggested an outing to hear an Egyptologist lay down some facts about women who rules in the ancient world. Interesting, sure. But I was feeling intellectually lazy and initially passed on the opportunity.

But here's the thing (s). I have never had a bad time hanging out with Cathy Garver. Just running into her at an event you didn't know she'd be at will make it a better party. And I had just resolved to make this year the one where I stop declining events because I don't want to put on real clothes or brush my hair. Plus a bunch of other also superfun ladies had already said "ah!" (That's the phonetic Egyptian Arabaic for "yes.")

So, a desire to keep to my hope to be more outwardly active and a liberal sprinkling of FOMO had me adding my name to the Egyptian lecture list at the last minute. It did not disappoint. In fact, it was funny and eye-opening and everything I've come to associate with CG.

Earlier, I'd agreed to celebrate Tina Noel's birthday with drinks at a winery that offered (weakly) heated igloos from which you can sip and watch a beautiful Heartland sunset.

We also went to a movie of which prior to this outing I zero knowledge. Now, much like being an expert on ancient Egyptian leaders and the appeal of our hunting/gathering days, I'm also an expert on INXS and Michael Hutchence. Ha. Not really, but I am better informed about both and realized I actually know some INXS songs. Actually, I'm lucky they didn't toss me out of the igloo when I asked what the movie was about and then followed it up with, "Who's Michael Hutchence?"

As you know, I'm a country music fan with no ability to discern the talents behind rock music. I can, however, tell you (generally) who is singing what country music song. I'm working on this and just last week recognized Bob Dylan AND The Rolling Stones. Low bar, maybe, but I'm working on it!

In addition to being less ignorant of other music genres, I plan this year is to take a trip of some kind every month. I'm counting West Lafayette for January because the month is half over, the prednisone is wearing off and I'm a little bit tired. And it's wicked cold right now.

The Captain and I are going to Nashville, TN, next month celebrating our wedding anniversary along with Tracy and Eric. Still planning that out, but it's a definite. March/April will be a Spring Break trip somewhere: maybe Maine.

The idea of the trips and desire to do more stuff with friends is definitely a response to Alison's return to college. The classic empty nest. But when you have friends and you like your family, it's not a bad thing to have a roomier nest. You go out, you have fun; you remember that you used to a fun person who went outside the house for more than work and groceries.

It's not a bad year so far. Here's ➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤➤
the best picture of Ali's last day with us. She's saying goodbye to her father, who had work, which left me to return her solo. Were there tears? Maybe. But only in the room, down the stairs and in the car for a bit.

I'd parked as close to Ali's dorm door because we had a significant amount of stuff to drag up to the third floor. I'd switched cars with Jeff to get it all up there. Campus was virtually deserted, so it didn't seem like parking illegally would affect anyone. So there was no need for that bus driver to try to shame me when he decided I was in his way.

I say try, because he didn't shame me one bit. There was:

A. plenty of yellow for everyone. (Someone should tell Mitch Daniels that parents need to be closer to the dorm doors -- and should get a free pass when there's NO ONE but you and your kid on campus.)
B. No one got off the damn bus at that spot; and
C. Could he not tell I was having a moment?!?

Ali has been back at school for a couple weeks. I've got a list of stuff for her next care package. She's not planning to come home until Spring Break but has reminded us that she's free for dinner
between now and then.

I've cleaned pretty much every corner of the house, buffed and polished, donated stuff, reorganized things in the basement, gotten the toxics ready for proper disposal and recycled the recyclables.

FYI, saving paint for 20+ years is a fool's errand. I pried the top off a can thinking I'd touch up bits of the dining room and inhaled a swirl of air that may have had chunky brown bits in it. When we'd sealed the can, the paint was liquid and approaching forest green. It's congealed into a sludge in shades of brown and black and gray. I don't know what the shelf life on paint is, but it's not 20 years.

So yeah, it's time to go out and have fun. We joined the AMC movie club as a way to encourage date night. It's a crazy deal: you can see up to three movies A WEEK for something like $20 a person per month. We like movies. We may need to bike there or do some power walking in the mall to justify the sitting and potential snacks. But it should be fun for a while.

Add in Bunco and Book Club and I'm going to be out more than I'm in.

I'm seeing Bombshell with some friends tomorrow. This isn't a situation where I'm going in blind.  I know all about those FOX ladies and have enough journalism background and #MeToo situations to be eager to see it. Doesn't matter, though. I'm going out with friends. It'll be fun.


I'm not going to go totally crazy. Thanks to my brother-in-law, James, I'm poised for me time in the tub with a book and a bit of bubbly. And thanks to my sister, Donna, I'm primed for reading outside the tub as well.

So watch your inbox for an invite from me. I'll be squeaky clean and ready for movies, music, walks around the neighborhood, you name it. It's going to be a fun year. Be ready to say "yes."

The last day... but not the LAST day

Today is the last day Jeff and I have no work obligations and still have Ali home with us. Full work days return tomorrow, and I'll take her back to Purdue this weekend. I'm trying not call too much attention to it, just enjoy the time.

It's been pretty awesome.

• Christmas in Maine, check.
• De-Christmasing upon our return, check.
• New Year's Eve party, check.
• Gatherings with friends, check.
• Impromptu brunch at The Gallery, check. 

Since we've been home, we've been hanging out, reading, purging and cleaning (in my case) painting, playing online games, streaming old shows (in Ali's case) shopping and cooking (in Jeff's case.) It's been low-key but super fun.

While getting ready for NYE, I remembered that we came home from Maine in July with a collection of Avon lead crystal glassware with an etched hummingbird motif. I ended up with it because my mom had left me with a collection of the stuff, and sets+ of another Avon glassware collection went home with Jen and James.

What's funny about the glasses is my parents didn't drink alcohol and Jeff's folks weren't big drinkers. I don't think the glasses were ever used, and most were in their original boxes, the little stickers proclaiming their bona fides were still on them. The Maine ones were handy in the basement, but my mom's have languished in the attic since we moved here circa 1998. There're plates, bowls, a bud vase, a pitcher and a platter as well. Salt and pepper shakers too.

Jeff had gotten into the attic checking to check on a troublesome roof leak, so I asked him to bring down my mom's hummingbird glass just to see what we have. With it, he found more of another set of glassware from Marian that I'd seen used on an old Mad Men re-run. It took me a few hours to inventory everything, repackage and store it downstairs where it'll be easier to find/use.

 He also found a box of dishes labeled (he claims in my hand writing): "In case of divorce." His outrage blew down from afar like sparks on the wind, but Ali and I thought it was hilarious. 

I have no memory of that box, and he didn't open it, so I don't know what's really in there. I suspect it's his old dishes, or maybe Mrs. Reed 1.0, because I know where my old dishes are.  They're set aside downstairs for Ali's first apartment.

Today, Ali and I decided we'd cook dinner -- primary item French onion soup -- and while we were getting things together, Jeff remembered that while he was on his tour of the attic, he'd seen a set of bowls and a Dutch oven he'd bought when he lived in Europe. We sent him back up; they're beautiful and perfect for our soup. But their arrival will mean a trip to Goodwill and a goodbye to other bowls we've used for years and have the chips to prove it.

My goal is to donate or scrap at least one item for every new thing that comes into our house this year. Discovering "new" stuff already here is a bit of a wrinkle, but I'll cope. The purge is definitely on.

On a prednisone high, I cleaned Jeff's work area down in the basement and lightened a bit of that load. The workbench had been littered with all kinds of crap for months. Projects that will never be finished, containers of things opened but not returned to their spot, pens, packing material.

That corner is just about the last vestige of stuff left by the former owners mingled with some of our own junk. If you ever need a screw, a nail, a washer, a tool, old doorknobs, wall anchoring supplies, sandpaper, etc... we probably have what you need no matter the size or color. Some of it dates back to the 1950s. Nails and screws, man, they don't perish. Seriously. Amil Gelb was a keeper.

Clearing some of it away is a tiny step toward convincing Jeff to make that corner a wine/beer/liquor cellar.  All of that will have to find its way to the garage or shed. Even on prednisone, I'm not up to that task

Yesterday, we took a trip to a Vintage store near our house where the first Saturday of the month, everything is half off. Even in a purge, bargains must be reviewed. The most flagrant purchase was Ali's. "I'm so tired of being short on campus," she claimed as she clutched a pair of 4-inch boots to her chest. Doubtful she would realistically wear them, I tried to dissuade her but gave in.

She put them on in the car as we finished our trip with the library, Target and Lowe's. She and I went to Target and then walked over to Lowe's to meet Jeff. On our walk, she said, "When we went into Target a group of ladies looked at me and said, "That girl is going to break her ankles." I just turned up my headphones.

I laughed, remembered my days of always wearing heels, and said, "They're just jealous. Heck, I'm jealous."

She laughed and said, "Right?! I saw my legs in these things. I'm never taking them off."

Right now, the house is full of cooking smells and music. I sou-cheffed for a while, then Jeff took over, but now it's just Ali puttering around in the kitchen, me on the couch and Jeff downstairs with a game on.

It's our last day together unencumbered with other responsibilities. It's a good day.

Itchy, scratchy but working through it

Somewhere in the usually fabulous state of Maine, I encountered something that irritated 97 percent of my skin. Not in a mildly annoyed way. In a full-on I-am-going-to-make-you-beg-for-death kind of way.

Dermatitis was the diagnosis. It's not contagious, but it's dug in deep. Prednisone is supposed to help it, and lucky for me, CVS delivered on that pretty fast.

Four days in, I'm better, but Ali woke up the day after Christmas with a sore throat and snotted up the friendly skies while I scratched my way home. It was a good thing we had an all-Reed set of seats.

Ali's sneezing was a come-and-go thing while my itching was fairly constant. Despite her illness, she and the Captain also feel compelled to instruct me on how to behave in public. Mostly it started with two words whispered loudly, followed by a command and then them falling against each other laughing. 

“Stop scratching!”

• You look like you’re in need of more crack.
• You look like you’re masturbating.
• You look like you’re a girl just released from a convent trying to talk to the first man she sees.
• You look like a 5-year-old who has to pee.

Later, as we waited at a restaurant for our connecting flight, Ali ran out of Kleenex but not snot.

"We can buy you NyQuil and Kleenex," I said.

"I don’t want NyQuil and I have napkins," she said.

I pick up my napkin, from which I had torn a sliver for myself and given the rest to her because she’d used up all the napkins within reach.

"I have napkin," she said.

We both cracked up in delirium.

Jeff wanted to walk to another terminal to get ice cream. Sweet Jesus Ice Cream. A favorite that Ali and I have had for breakfast on prior flights.  We both declined. That’s how you know how bad we were feeling.

Jeff peeled off searching for ice cream and, let's face it, a deserved break from us. Ali and I leaned against each other and struggled to the appropriate gate.

"Mom, I want to die."

"I want to die with you."

We discuss how to get killed in an airport. I said I wanted it to be a quick death and was concerned that nothing we did would result in a quick shot to the head. She said I was too demanding. Before the prednisone took effect, I could feel myself swelling up - especially my eyes. There for a while, I thought I might swell up like Violet Beauregarde in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and float home. 

We got home about midnight and Jeff sent us to showers and bed, agreeing to drag in all our suitcases and stuff.  For the first time since I can remember, I didn't unpack right away. Ali and I spent yesterday on separate couches. I don't think I did one productive thing except apply calamine lotion and take the drugs. 

Today, the swelling is down, the itching is better and Ali is better, too. I'm halfway to getting the tree taken down. Jeff is off shopping so we'll have fun stuff for New Year's Eve. I should be back to near normal by then.

Prednisone is supposed to make you really energetic. I'm looking forward to that.

Christmas wasn't all itchy and scratchy. Gary crushed Jeff at cribbage. Ali had her fill of crab legs at our annual trip to the China Buffet.

We took a great walk up Jen's mountain-like hill and ended up with a postcard-like photo of Team Chase and Ali. We also met Mary's new love, the puppy Rory, who is super cute and about the size of a dust mop.

Rory is also suspect No. 1 for the source of my dermatitis. (Sorry, Mary.) Jeff and Ali have cat allergies, but I haven't had such issues before. 

We had lobster rolls at Allagash Brewing and drowned each other in gifts and food.

  It was a great trip and will be -- overall -- a great holiday break.

Happy New Year!

 

.

All I want for Christmas is some willpower

Not as in Will Power the race car driver. (He couldn't handle me.) But as in will power.

My pants already don't fit. A couple weeks ago, I grabbed the wrong pair of jeans, struggled into them and hoped they'd stretch. They didn't, and I'm pretty sure I sported a camel toe the rest of the day. This wasn't a muffin top situation. It was more like an overstuffed bratwurst that's been on the grill so long it's split open and oozing its stuffing.

My pants held that day, but barely. Had my waist button not managed to stay attached, it would have put someone's eye out, or embedded itself like one of those ninja stars had it sprung free like it was trying to.

Anyway, Ali is home from Purdue, which makes me happy regardless of my size.

She's baking coconut macaroons today and will soon dip them in dark chocolate. For my Book Club on Friday, she dipped strawberries in chocolate. And this is just the beginning.

She's been separated from the Kitchen Aid for weeks now. She has visions of cupcakes and cookies for her friends and the neighbors. I'm going to have to go work in an office to escape sampling and stealing licks from the bowls.

This morning after she cleared the cobwebs from mixer and it was humming happily in tune with her iPhone music, she said, "Oh I've missed that sound." Later, she signed and said: "It's good to be in a kitchen again."

It's not just my child who's contributing to my growth. There's a pile of cookies and popcorn and chocolate everywhere I go these days. I thought I'd save some calories by not drinking until Christmas.

But today, the Captain came back from Kroger with 10 bottles of great wine that he found in a bargain bin to add to the Advent calendar of wine Tracy and Eric Wiseman dropped off just after Thanksgiving. And of course you can't have Book Club without some champagne. And Bree's Book Club lasagna was so good I almost ate more of it than the damn strawberries.

Have I mentioned that I'm a weak, weak person?

I should just give up now and amend my Christmas list to elastic-waist pants and oversized shirts. I'm definitely staying away from the colors red and green this year for fear of being mistaken for Santa's largest elf.

Oh well, that's what resolutions are for, right? And everyone knows you can't start working on a resolution until the new year. We're starting a new decade come January 1 -- so it's probably good to have a meaty challenge for it.

Looks like it's leggings for me for the rest of the year.

The picture of Jeff isn't of him with his Kroger treasure, but him yesterday preparing to deliver craft beer to his friends before we set out for the Kahn's champagne tasting where we found Kate, Niki and Shelly there to sample as well.

Today, if I can wrest her away from the kitchen, maybe Ali and I will drop by the gym. That'll work off a bite or two...

Team Reed is lit

Ali brought a friend home from college, and the Captain claims I abused the poor kid.

I'm fairly certain I didn't, though I did doubt myself there for a while. I put that nonsense away when Ali told me that Jason confided in her that he was glad put in so many hours of labor. "I ate a lot," he said.

Didn't we all, Jason?

Decorating for Christmas has always been a tradition for Ali and me. We put the tree together the morning after Thanksgiving. I do the lights, but she pretty much sets the theme and decides what goes where while I set about with other areas of the house. Most of the decor is concentrated in the living/dining room, the kitchen and the porch. So, we put in a bunch of CDs from the House of Merle Christmas collection and blast the holiday spirit into being into every room of the house.

Ali usually turns off Toby Keith's "Santa I'm Still Here," but this year, she just cried through it like she did the first time she heard it and realized it was a story about a little homeless boy. Most of the other songs aren't as sad, and Jason jumped right in to hum and sing along.

As the weather was good and I had labor, we started outside. Ali and Jason took on the lights while I got rid of leaves that were clogging prime decorating space. I really didn't mean to bag leaves -- I've been mulching to minimize the need for that duty and was planning to chop them into bits with the mower.

But it turned out to be a bigger pile than Id envisioned and I didn't want to spoil the ambiance. At about bag three, Jeff came out and decided we needed to do even more leaves, so it turned into a big leaf production alongside the light display.

With Jason supporting from the ground, Ali went high and was on the roof when Jeff came out, so of course he set her to work on the gutters as well.

At a loss for hands-on work, Jason asked if I wanted him to switch to leaf duty. But I the Captain on that job, which was the worst job in the yard. So Jason went back to finishing up the lights.

Jason's usual holiday job in California involves putting lights on his family's two-story house, so he was in his element albeit 40 degrees colder than his norm. But he was a super trouper and their work turned out great.

After a Thanksgiving leftovers lunch, we turned to inside work, which involved a bit of structural integrity assessment. We nearly worked too close to time to meet the Jacksons for our annual Friendsgiving dinner.

That was its usual amazing time. We love the Jacksons and our tradition, which I think started when Ali was two-years-old. Jason slid right in. It helped that he's a Boilermaker.

If you think Jeff is proud of Ali, double that emotion for Patrick when he found out she'd gotten into his alma mater. I suspect Ali will be seeing the Jacksons on campus in the coming months.

I had to return my workforce Saturday morning as Ali was meeting another friend for the Old Oaken Bucket game, which had a 12 noon kick-off. I'd have kept them longer if I could. Start to finish, it was a great, great holiday weekend.

I'd heard a bit about Jason, but hadn't met him until Tuesday when I picked him and Ali up. Before we hit the interstate, I asked them if we needed a snack before leaving campus, and Ali told Jason that, on road trips, if I ever ask if anyone's hungry, it really means that I'm hungry and am looking for support to stop for food. (That is only occasionally true.)

On the return trip, Jason had gotten up later than Ali and me. I made them take a bunch of leftovers and various snacks I had around the house, but only Ali and I had breakfast before we got in the car.

Because I'm polite and also I was fretting a little bit about whether I'd worked him too hard,  I advised Jason that we'd have plenty of time to stop for a drive-thru breakfast if he was hungry.

From his spot in the backseat comes, "I'm fine, but are YOU hungry?"

He's going to have to learn to take her statements at face value...

Starch, anyone?

Nutritionists say starchy foods should make up about a third of a healthy human diet that should include carbohydrates (aka starch), protein, fat, vitamins, minerals, fiber and water.

I'm pretty sure my family, several generation back, stopped listening after carbohydrates. They definitely heard the "fat" portion and took it to mean fat wa essential to make all the other stuff palatable.

Evidence? A plate from Thanksgiving past ➨
Here you have your basics of a decent holiday meal:

• Noodles on a base of mashed potatoes
• Macaroni and cheese
• Corn
• Not pictures but surely within reach is one of Donna's home-made, buttery rolls (soft butter if Jason Bradbury is in the house.)

You really only need two color schemes to have a fabulous Bickel holiday meal: white and yellow.

There will be other colors available, but they're not the stuff people dream of and fight over:

• Orange for the sweet potatoes with or without marshmallows depending on who's hosting but surely with butter
• Green for the green beans bathed in either cream of something soup or swimming in a bacon-grease shimmer and featuring great hunks of iron-skillet fried bacon from a pig that may have spent the better part of a year with you.
• Pink because that pig had more to give and you must have both ham AND turkey available
• Brown for the turkey, which could be roasted, grilled or deep-fried.
• Beige for the gravy that goes with the turkey but not the white potatoes because they get the full-fat chicken-stock broth that makes another kind of gravy.
• Camouflage which is the only color I can ascribe to the dressing, which may or may not include oysters but started out with bread, butter and a bunch of herbs.

We got to host Thanksgiving this year and all of the above mentioned items were there. Our Jasheway friends brought a mac-and-cheese that was every bit a Bickel production. My guess is there were two pounds of cheese for every box of pasta and probably the same portion of butter. Kirstin attended a family wedding with me once, so I think she must have gotten infected then.

Alison's friend Jason Hickman (not to be confused with my nephew, Jason, Donna's cossetted baby boy for whom she ensures there's softened butter for the rolls. Jaime, Donna's eldest daughter and her daughters claim they get cold, hard butter if Jason isn't around...) made the pies. Including home-made crust.

One pecan and two pumpkin. We had a bit of an issue with the pecan pie but it did get consumed first. Ali's chocolate-chip pumpkin cookies were also a big hit.

Jeff deep fried four turkey breasts after brining two of them. Jim Bradbury kept watch over the flames from the chimenea and made sure Jeff didn't burn anything down with the fryer.

My main job, per usual, was sous cheffing and clean up. It's just safer for everyone. I peeled 30 carrots, six sweet potatoes, 10 pounds of white potatoes and halved about a million brussel sprouts. Two pounds of bacon went into the weekend, but Ali and Jason ate half of that. The rest was for green beans and a shrimp appetizer.

It all seemed to go fairly well. We moved the couches and added tables so everyone could be together, and that provided ample room for euchre with  dessert.

In my least hospitable act, Jim and I handily beat our guests, Joyce Jasheway and Jason. To make up for it, I gave Joyce a recipe and fed and housed Jason and then promptly abused him by having him help with Thanksgiving prep soon to be followed with Christmas decorating.

It was a really great day despite Rachael (IU Hoosier freshman) making the most of the bitter in-state rivalry with Alison (Purdue Boilermaker freshman) and the usual claims of cheating at euchre. 

Like pie tops off a great meal, our holiday finished with a visit from Eric, Tracy and Elizabeth.

Next up is Christmas. Ali got up early and is visiting some high school friends. But Jason is now awake, and he made the mistake of saying that at home in California, his day-after-Thanksgiving job is to decorate outside. So, he and I can get to work while we wait on Ali to come back and tackle the tree. I really thought he'd still be asleep, so this is like an extra bonus.

Jason is my new best friend. He and I will be in the shed soon figuring out the inventory and where lights should go. He's tall! I love him. I would totally soften the butter for him.

Jeff started out the day at 4:15 a.m. at a beer share/Bourbon County beer shopping so I expect he'll be down for the count and out of my decorating way any time now. Because I'm an excellent wife, I tried to get him to nap in our bedroom. (It's more comfortable there. Plus, he won't hear what I'm planning next and try to interfere...) From the looks of thing to my left, I've lost that battle.

It's not going to last for him, poor thing. Because part of the tradition of decorating the tree involves cracking out the House of Merle Christmas CDs. I know Auntie Jen will be doing the same, so we'll decorate together even though we're apart.

And later, I'll review the starch inventory. We sent a lot away with hungry college students, but there's plenty of white and yellow food to heat up. We'll be fully starched before our traditional Friendsgiving with Team Jackson tonight.

It truly is the best time of the year.

A voice for phone sex, a throat for Vick's.

The Captain's voice had never been more sexy, so I knew I was in for it.

The "it" in this scenario wasn't the good kind. The sore throat he'd been complaining about had morphed into his first cold of the season. 

I quickly took evasive action.

I slept on the couch. (The guest room is clean and ready for a healthy guest, and I was too lazy to event contemplate the decontamination efforts that would be required if I stayed there.) 

I avoided being too close to his air space when he emerged from his sick bed. 

I took Tracy Wiseman's advice and started pounding Vitamin D3. 

I got my 10K steps but otherwise rested. 

I had soup.

As a result of my proactive stance, my voice should take on a deeper, throatier sound (ala the Captain) today. Or so I suspect. I'm hoping not as I have a lot of work to do next week.

I may not get my 10K steps today. 

This is what marriage gets you. Someone should have warned me.

Jeff is feeling better, so I figure I'll survive. And Ali called to check in yesterday, so it's not all bad.