TeamReedblog: Itchy, scratchy but working through it

Somewhere in the usually fabulous state of Maine, I encountered something that irritated 97 percent of my skin. Not in a mildly annoyed way. In a full-on I-am-going-to-make-you-beg-for-death kind of way.

Dermatitis was the diagnosis. It's not contagious, but it's dug in deep. Prednisone is supposed to help it, and lucky for me, CVS delivered on that pretty fast.

Four days in, I'm better, but Ali woke up the day after Christmas with a sore throat and snotted up the friendly skies while I scratched my way home. It was a good thing we had an all-Reed set of seats.

Ali's sneezing was a come-and-go thing while my itching was fairly constant. Despite her illness, she and the Captain also feel compelled to instruct me on how to behave in public. Mostly it started with two words whispered loudly, followed by a command and then them falling against each other laughing.

“Stop scratching!”

You look like you’re in need of more crack.
You look like you’re masturbating.
You look like you’re a girl just released from a convent trying to talk to the first man she sees.
You look like a 5-year-old who has to pee.

Later, as we waited at a restaurant for our connecting flight, Ali ran out of Kleenex but not snot.

"We can buy you NyQuil and Kleenex," I said.

"I don’t want NyQuil and I have napkins," she said.

I pick up my napkin, from which I had torn a sliver for myself and given the rest to her because she’d used up all the napkins within reach.

"I have napkin," she said.

We both cracked up in delirium.

Jeff wanted to walk to another terminal to get ice cream. Sweet Jesus Ice Cream. A favorite that Ali and I have had for breakfast on prior flights. We both declined. That’s how you know how bad we were feeling.

Jeff peeled off searching for ice cream and, let's face it, a deserved break from us. Ali and I leaned against each other and struggled to the appropriate gate.

"Mom, I want to die."

"I want to die with you."

We discuss how to get killed in an airport. I said I wanted it to be a quick death and was concerned that nothing we did would result in a quick shot to the head. She said I was too demanding. Before the prednisone took effect, I could feel myself swelling up - especially my eyes. There for a while, I thought I might swell up like Violet Beauregarde in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and float home.

We got home about midnight and Jeff sent us to showers and bed, agreeing to drag in all our suitcases and stuff. For the first time since I can remember, I didn't unpack right away. Ali and I spent yesterday on separate couches. I don't think I did one productive thing except apply calamine lotion and take the drugs.

Today, the swelling is down, the itching is better and Ali is better, too. I'm halfway to getting the tree taken down. Jeff is off shopping so we'll have fun stuff for New Year's Eve. I should be back to near normal by then.

Prednisone is supposed to make you really energetic. I'm looking forward to that.

Christmas wasn't all itchy and scratchy. Gary crushed Jeff at cribbage. Ali had her fill of crab legs at our annual trip to the China Buffet.

We took a great walk up Jen's mountain-like hill and ended up with a postcard-like photo of Team Chase and Ali. We also met Mary's new love, the puppy Rory, who is super cute and about the size of a dust mop.

Rory is also suspect No. 1 for the source of my dermatitis. (Sorry, Mary.) Jeff and Ali have cat allergies, but I haven't had such issues before.

We had lobster rolls at Allagash Brewing and drowned each other in gifts and food.