On zippers and fasting and fast friends

I don't know why I thought I could slip easily into the dress I was married in 21 years ago, but I did.

It's a cool dress. It was ivory, velvet and not really wedding dress-y. It was actually a bridesmaid dress I found out wedding dress shopping. It had an asymmetrical top part and was kind of snug as it went to the floor. It seemed perfect for a photoshoot that will be used to promote a super fun party you should go to this New Year's Eve at Union Station in Indianapolis.

I was optimistic because after a year or three away from my strict WW diet, I've got a little more junk in my trunk than needs to be there. As I learned when the dress started slithering down my torso and stopped at said trunk.

It reminded me of the time I was a bridesmaid for my sister Nancy. Her BFF from high school, the twig-like Tracy Price, and I were standing up for her. We had bubble-gum pink satin dresses that I think my sister Donna made. Mine was double-digit sized. Tracy's was probably sub-zero. I was home for a fitting.

It was a bright, sunny day and I was standing in the kitchen/dining room area of the house I'd shared with Nancy before moving to Evansville. I stripped down to my underwear and slipped my dress over my head. It got a little lower than the wedding dress this week, but that wasn't good news because it got stuck. I was standing there with my arms sticking out over my head trapped in pink satin. No amount of tugging or swearing or jumping about did anything but jiggle the fat sticking out the other end.

I wailed. I cried. I was unhappy with the original size, had been dieting and now it was worse than the first fitting when we had to go up a size. Nancy tried to help me out of it, but as I recall was laughing too hard to be of much assistance.

Turns out, I was trapped in Tracy's dress. I don't know how I got out of it but I know Donna had repairs to make to more than a few seams. We're lucky we didn't have to call the fire department. I still hate pink satin.

Anyway, I didn't have to destroy my way out of the ivory velvet, and I have a new goal for the next few months: I'm wearing that damn dress to NYE. Just you wait.

What that means is no more trips to Chicago with my Bunco squad. I could tell you about the excesses that happened there but Chicago is my new Las Vegas. But I have to share a pic of the birthday boy when he was at least fully clothed...

Below is from last night's photoshoot where I did not wear the dress I'd planned. It's going to be an awesome night. Especially if I lose 100 pounds or so. Kelsey Taylor, who you see below, is more than ready right now. You know, even if I don't get back into that dress, I'm in excellent shape friends-wise. Maybe I should start measuring that way...