Miss Independence

Alison is off with Auntie Jen and Jenna Tokash for a week and who do you think has communicated more with the poor, lonely parents back home?

That's right. My second daughter, Jenna. And mostly because I guilted her into it.

It's all just fine, though, because we know they're safe and having a ton of fun. Alison will jettison technology if she has a chance of getting into water, and as Pleasant Pond is in Jen's back yard, I'll be lucky to hear from Ali until she's waiting to board her plane to come home.

Before the girls went off to Auntie Jen, they helped us out with a community field day, hosted in part by our great friend, Kelsey Taylor.  Follow the link to read about it if you want.

It was the first attempt by the group, and we would have loved to have more people, but it was still a great (albeit hot) day. At one point, an IMPD office came by and was attacked by a toddler/little kid group that had a kiddie pool full of water and some water guns. He was a great sport. I hope he had a dry uniform somewhere because he had just started his shift and was soaked.

We got to spend a little time with the awesome Northern family, who are headed to Charlottesville soon. Karl and Elizabeth's eldest, Jack, has plans of running the country one day, so it makes sense that he get a little history lesson in when he can. He's serious. And he knows a lot about becoming president. So be prepared to send him your vote when the time comes, which could be a little shy of 30 years from now. It would be sooner except for that silly age restriction.

After we got home and showered the sweat off, Jenna straightened Ali's hair. Last year at Jen's, she went a different direction, which apparently gave at least one of them a laugh.

Jenna Tokash: Future Stylist to the Stars

This is us at Taco Bell fueling up for the Stop the Violence Community Field Day

The hair stayed mostly straight overnight, but I'm sure was back to her curly mop once they got out of the water. I'd share a photo with you, but oh yeah, I don't have one!!!

I have had little time to be bitter. I got up early Monday to take a road trip with Deb from WFMS, my country radio music station of choice. We've been Twitter friends for a while, but we channeled Thelma and Louise to get the first taste of Dunkin Donuts' new donut fries and to meet in real life. I didn't tell her until after about my terrible driving reputation.

We got there and back just fine, thank you very much, even thought we ran into a detour and had to wind our way around to find the closest shop and when we got there, the staff had a hard time realizing we didn't just want one packet of five donut fries. We wanted five packets. They thought we were crazy. I think they were mesmerized by our lipstick.

I'm generally risk averse when it comes to meeting people I've liked from afar. You never want to find out your favorite actress or singer is a creep, plus you don't want to come off like a stalker. But it was fun. The Captain even tuned in. One day I'll get him to love country music, too...

Now it's the 4th of July and Jeff and I will likely head down to an Indians game. We took a long bike ride this morning so I might have to nap before. Hope your week is awesome and your 4th of July is safe but fun. As I type, Jeff is dragging out the remnants of his fireworks collection. He's had to take  a few years off from blowing stuff up but I fear for the neighborhood dogs tonight...

Come by Canterbury Park if you're in the area after dark... I'm pretty sure someone will be breaking the law down there.

Jesus Take the Wheel

Alison is finally committed to learning how to drive. Thanks be praised and Hallalujah. Kind of.

She'd put it off all year. Mostly because she has two live-in chauffeurs and friends who'll cart her butt pretty much wherever she wants to go. But she's through finals and in between travels. Her summer job is to get her 50 hours of driving in and to get her driver's license before Herron rings the school bell.

She had insisted that only Jeff be her instructor. "Come on, Mom, even you know you're a bad driver," she said.

Even though the Captain wasn't in the room at the time, I could see him nodding his head. I agreed to this madness but found myself with time on my hands this week.

"We're driving today," I said.

"What?" she asked, turning around from where she was recording pluses and minuses on her chalkboard wall that's now consumed with her potential college choices.

"No arguments. You're doing it, and you're doing some of it with me," I said.

I can't remember why we had both cars home, but Jeff wasn't around. We drove through our neighborhood in his automatic transmission Subaru. She was really nervous but she did fine.

So we've been driving pretty much every day. Jeff takes her out, too.

This morning, she was backing out of the driveway and at one point had the Subaru crossways instead of heading to the street. She got it straightened out and declared that other than that one point, it was one of her best exits.

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She was going along fine in traffic as we approached a line of cars at a stoplight. I'd been sitting mostly silently as I thrashed around her twists and turns and choppy stops at stop signs but I apparently squeaked as the Acura in front of us got closer and closer.

"I saw him! I'm stopping fine," she said, glaring at me.

I looked back, a little surprised.

"Did I say that out loud?" I asked.

"Yes," she said.

She drove on, we got home safely and I decided to take a little walk. I meander down the drive and saw the casualties from her driveway exit.

I knocked on the picture window and had her get off the couch to lay witness her destruction.

"Uh, well, they're not all that bad," she said. "And look! Those are OK."

I think I'm going to have her park in the street from now on...

Divided Houses

The only time I remember angering my mother-in-law was a long time ago when Sally Hemings DNA was in the news and I was remarking about how strange it was that the man who wrote the Declaration of Independence and fought against tyranny was both a slave owner and a rapist.


Marian was not convinced that Thomas Jefferson should be so described and said the relationship was surely consensual. I retorted that, by definition, that was impossible. At that point, she left the room rather than continue the discussion. It's a moment I wish I had back because I would have never intentionally angered her.

I remembered that day vividly when my friend Denise McFadden and I toured Monticello a couple weeks ago. Jeff and I were visiting Scott and Denise while Ali was on her European tour.

Denise and I took Sunday morning to hike up to the plantation, which had just opened a new exhibit that featured Ms. Hemings. Our guide warned our group that unless we were prepared to
hear some harsh words about what the place was really like back in the day -- and some realities of this side of the former president -- we might not want to continue on. We continued on, of course.


It was amazing and troubling and terrible. We were both fighting back tears at the stories that were based on historical research, which included letters and business papers, ads in newspapers and oral history. One documented story was of Jefferson's plan to sell a repeat runaway slave to scare the others into remaining for fear of being separated from their families.  "The thing these enslaved artisans and workers feared most wasn't the whippings or the beatings. It was being separated from their family," our tour guide explained.

You couldn't help but think of today's immigration and family separation policy.

It gave us a lot to think about on the two-mile trek back to the car. It's a complex world, full of complicated things that can easily divide us into bitter factions. We have only to look to Thomas Jefferson to know that. This is the guy who wrote: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed, by their Creator, with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness.

Yet he also placed ads in newspapers describing the chained return of runaway slaves and the subsequent punishment they would face. He believed the races were inferior but that you could breed the black out of them.

Sally, by the way, met his 7/8ths ratio, the tipping point he claimed turned a person from black to white. I guess they weren't exactly people to him until then. How can you be so smart about democracy and individual liberties and be so wrong about slavery?

Oh, Sally was also half-sister to Jefferson's deceased wife. She was15 or so when they began their relationship in Paris where slavery was illegal. When Jefferson wanted to bring her back to Monticello, she negotiated her return. She agreed to go back to being a slave (and also Jefferson's mistress) in exchange for a promise that her children would be freed. Quite the bargain, aye?

Oh! One other thing that's still with me. A different tour guide showed us around the house. I don't know her feelings about slavery, but her tour was markedly more optimistic than the other. At one point, after showing us the many things that probably contributed to Jefferson's later bankruptcy, she referenced the day when the auctioneer came to sell off the assets of the property. One of Jefferson's (an 8/8ths white one) daughter's proclaimed it "the saddest day on the plantation."

On behalf of those without her pedigree, I beg to differ.

On the other hand, the vision of a teenager standing her ground with such a powerful man boggles the mind. Or it did mine. She bargained with the only currency she owned. Does that make the relationship consensual? I don't know. She was still a slave. A slave. He never freed her, just her children when they turned 21. He kept using, selling and presumably punished the others, too.

There's no getting around the fact that slavery is a terrible, terrible thing from which many of our founding fathers profited. There were real atrocities that we shouldn't forget or allow to be repeated.

I was thinking about this in context of today's issues that so many of us have such separate views on: environmental regulation, gay rights, how to deal fairly with immigration and those seeking asylum, affordable health care, the list doesn't stop. I couldn't help but wonder if we're a country so divided on these issues that we're heading to internal conflict.

I hope we're not. I hope we can collectively put the brakes on the bitterness and acrimony. I will admit that I started to chuckle at the irony of Sarah Huckabee and her family being denied service at a restaurant because the staff and owners oppose the administration's support for allowing retailers to deny service to gay people its demonstrated practice of lying to the American people and probably other things. I'd forgotten the baker who refused service to Joe Biden. Some of the same GOPers who declared that guy a hero now think the Red Hen folks went too far.


How do we get back to a place of unity? Is it even possible? We can, should and will continue to disagree over things. 

But let's be human first. Let's edit those Jeffersonian words and really mean them -- that ALL men and WOMEN are created equal. Giving everyone certain unalienable rights doesn't mean you have to give up your own. We ALL should get them. I don't know what's so hard about that concept.

Travels

I'm struggling with a post about my visit to Monticello. So instead, I'm going to post some happy photos from recent travels. Jeff and I went to Virginia to spend a few days with Denise McFadden and Scott Cunningham. We went by way of Maryland so we could make some highly necessary craft beer stops.

We had a fabulous visit -- met new people and had amazing meals. Can't wait to go back.

The road to Denise & Scott's Virginia farm. It's even more idyllic than this shot.

This is the view from the front yard. It's a wonder how they ever leave...

Alison returned last week from 10 days in Berlin, Prague, Krakow and Budapest. She had an amazing time. This is her with a few of her friends. Notice they aren't looking back longingly at the families they're leaving behind...

She did return, however, and we were all happy to see each other.

And here's a happy flower from the yard. I'm working on getting to a place where I'm equally sunshiny. Current events -- and that fascinating trip to Monticello -- is making it difficult...

A letter to Indiana's congressional representatives

I'm going to send this letter today to Senator Young. My congressman, Andre Carson already stands for us on the issues I cite, as does Senator Joe Donnelly. Is this a partisan letter? Only because of the votes cast and actions or non-actions taken.

I'm sharing it here in hopes others will be inspired to send their own letters. Hopefully you agree with at least some of what I'm talking about. A dear friend of mine and I disagree pretty strongly, which is interesting to me because I LOVE her and she's a wonderful person who would help pretty much anyone. I think it's easier to support some of these things when you think it doesn't directly affect you or your family.

I think each of these things -- and many others -- affect us all as human beings. But for today, I'm focusing just on these three...

Dear Senator Young and Republican members of the Indiana congressional delegation,

You don’t know me but I am a fellow Hoosier. I follow current events and I’m a faithful voter. Like Luke Brian, I believe most people are good.

Of late, I have a hard time putting you and most of your colleagues in that “good" category. Here are three reasons why:

1. Recent actions to separate children from parents who are risking everything, including breaking immigration laws, to escape something even worse in their native country. Wouldn’t you risk everything to help your child? Our ancestors did. Yet you stand silent or are complicit on this issue.
2. Recent actions to explode the ACA without offering a better way for Americans to get affordable, meaningful health insurance. I know you have great health care, but many of your constituents don't, and you voted to make it harder for them to get it or to keep what they have. Why?
3. Teacher pay. I realize this is a local issue but you could do something about it if you wanted to. Teachers are one of the biggest influences on our children. I bet you had one who inspired you to give back, to be the leader you are today. Yet you voted for tax cuts for the rich while our teachers work second jobs to keep their heads above water. That's not right.

How about you lead for positive good on just theses three issues? Forget about who wronged whom in past campaigns and political battles. Lead like you’re helping the masses and not your party or your president. I think most Hoosiers would say that's what they thought you'd do when they voted for you.

I’m asking you to build up our country, help bring us back together rather than pull it further apart.

Let's start with the three issues above and move on to others later. If we can focus first on the basic human ones, maybe the others will come easier.

Sincerely,

Cheryl Reed
Parent
Health insurance user
Former student whose teachers changed her life
Hoosier
American

(Most of) What Happens at The Irving, STAYS at The Irving

"Hey Mom! Your boobs didn't pop out!"

That will likely be the quote that sticks with me after our night out at the Rocky Horror Picture Show at The Irving Theater. It was roughly 2:45 in the a.m. and I was stumbling in to the house. Ali and Jeff were still cackling about the sights, the sounds, the excess of the evening. I was standing in the kitchen, gratefully taking off my red, spiky toed heels and Ali turned around to survey my torso.

"Nice," she said. "I would have lost that bet."

Rebecca Weir would likely have also lost the bet. She was walking in from a wedding gig and came in to see Ali and me decked out in our RHPS splendor. We invited her to come, but she was tired after transporting wedding guests to and fro. She did loan Ali some dark lipstick, which perfected her look. There was a part of me that wondered if Becca would pack up and leave our crazy house while we were gone, but I think she's still downstairs...

Even though she didn't quite approve of my ensemble, Ali was largely responsible for the precarious assemblage. When it was clear that I had nothing in my closet that would come close to appropriate RHPS attire, she offered up a sheer top she owns. (She wears a full camisole or tank under it.) I paired it with a black demi-bra.

"Why do you even have something like that?" she had asked before quickly pouncing on the baby doll negligee from a long-passed Valentine's Day I tossed her way.

"I can really wear this outside?" she'd asked. I agreed that if the Captain said yes, she could.

She paired it with her own fishnets, volleyball shorts, black boots and leather jacket. The Captain OK'd it as long as she kept on the jacket. She pulled out feather boas for the two of us, as well.

(She lost the jacket a time or two, once in highly dramatic fashion, but that happened inside the theater and as the headline instructs, I've been sworn to secrecy about it.)

This is us outside the theater with our emcee.

Before the show...

If you're unfamiliar with RHPS, first-timers are identified as virgins and given a sort of hazing ceremony. My trepidation of what that would be turned to terror when my lipstick V was placed on my forehead while Jeff and Ali were marked on their cheeks. I was certain I was marked for extra treatment.

Despite the fact that we were likely the only people in the place who were cold-stone sober, we had a great time . We saw some sides of people we hadn't expected -- including some of Ali's friends from school or Young Actors Theater.

Ali and Jeff were on high alert and ready for the silly antics that involve a real-life show going on as the 1975 movie plays. I had downed a Red Bull, but it did not give me wings. It is possible I nodded off a few times. At a point when the audience can go up and do the Time Warp, I will confess that I stayed behind with hopes of stretching out and catching a few Zs. (I didn't but only because a few others stayed behind as well.)

One quote from inside the theater. We were getting settled and Ali had taken off her jacket and boa claiming she was warm. She leaned over and whispered to me,  "Remember back when you wouldn't let me wear leggings if I didn't have on a shirt that covered my butt?"

She giggled. I reflected on my parenting skills.

Anyway, we had a great time. Jeff and Ali were still sharing quotes from the night when we got home. I was lucky to wash the lipstick off my forehead before I crashed into bed. I woke up to find red feathers on my pillow and no doubt they'll be all over the house for weeks to come.

We got up this morning and got Ali off to the airport for her 10-day trip to Berlin, Krakow, Budapest and Prague. Jeff says part of the reason he was OK with being out so late the night before was to give her a great send-off and to also get her to sleep on the plane so she can better deal with jet lag. I think he just wanted to go to the show....

I'm pretty sure I'll be napping later. Here she is at the airport, eager to shed us and get to her adventure. One of her friends going along is Navy, who faithful readers will remember as Ali's savior when she broke her collarbone.

Between our similarly campy movie night Friday, Pride and the Irving, she has plenty of tales for her seat-mates. We'll see who keeps a better secret for what went on inside the building...

Some cars, some gravy, it's all good on 38th Street

We spent most of the day downtown at Pride-related events, but we started the day off at National for the second Cars & Gravy event of the summer. Because we weren't there long, I have more pictures than words. But they're pretty good pictures...

If you have any appreciation for cars, and you're in the area next month, you should totally put this on your list of things to do. It might occupy you for less than an hour or you might find yourself there most of the morning. It runs 8 a.m. to noon.

Cars & Gravy is a neighborhood get-together for anyone who likes cars or gravy or is interested in what's going on inside the bank at 215 E. 38th Street. Vacant for years, the bank was renovated and is now offers community meeting space and will soon be the home of Neal Brown's newest restaurant.

The restaurant will be called Midtown All Day, and if you're lucky, the chef will be serving something yummy inside the building.

The car part of the event is a super casual - which makes it super fun - a potluck of vintage or unusual cars. People drive in with whatever they want to show off.

The gravy part is Old Major Market, a gourmet bacon maker who offers biscuits, gravy and a cup of Joe. That, too, is worth your drive.

And just for fun, there's a fresh-cut flowers vendor in a pretty truck with even prettier (and reasonably priced) flowers. You'll probably meet some new friends.