Put her in coach

The morning of Alison's last 5-6th grade basketball game, Coach Reed said, "You know, I was on a team that didn't win a game all year. If those girls have as much fun as they did last time (23-2 loss) I can handle it."

Captain Coach Reed is not an uncompetitive man. If there's a way to keep score, he'll find it. If there's a sliver of a chance in hell he can win at something, he'll brave the gates of Hades. The first baseman on his softball team once got hit in the head by a line drive as he was running bases. The ball knocked him unconscious. When he came to, he was blind.

"So who took him to the hospital," I asked when Jeff was relaying why he was late getting home.

"Hospital? After a while he could see so we had him play catch."

That's right. They finished the game before they took the poor sap to get medical care. They're all still playing every summer.

Alison does not have that same drive when it comes to sports, and none of her teammates seem to be killers either.  After their first game, Jeff was replaying the game to me even though I'd watched it.

"Did you HEAR them? Did you HEAR them?" he exclaimed. "Even when we were getting the snot kicked out of us, they were cheering each other on! You can do it. They were HAVING FUN."

He shook his head. Coaching boys was so much more natural. It was also CYO so there wasn't audible cursing, but there was pain. There was frustration. There was agony. Stuff the Captain could understand.

So game two for the Christ the King Tigers comes along Sunday. He's not optimistic but he's got his game face on.

And it was as if the girls were possessed. They still had fun, but they weren't intimidated by the other team. They hustled. They waved their hands and stole the ball and shot the ball and rebounded the ball. We actually led for most of the game. Alison scored her first goal, barely missed a 3-point shot that was actually a planned play, and racked up two personal fouls.

Ultimately, they lost by one point. In double OT. (That's free basketball, folks.)  As the first OT went into the second, Helen Mansfield called his attention and said, "Hey coach. Annalise hasn't played very much yet. Can she go in for me?"

I'm certain that a part of his brain just shut down.


The shot that won the game for the other team was the second free throw attempt by the enemy. She'd air-balled the first one, which gave everyone on our side great hope.

But no one on the bleachers knew we were in a sudden death situation -- the first team to score would win no matter how much time was left. The girls knew. The coaches knew. The two girls on the our bench fell down stunned, groaning when the ball went in. The parents were all confused at the cheers from the other team and the dismay by ours.

The Captain? Well, the Captain took it really well. He slapped a smile on his face and he looked at the girls, I'm sure prepared to lift them up from the depths of despair.

But they had had fun!  Sure it was better than last week, but losing again didn't make them give up. Our parents gave the game a W regardless of the final score.

We're all super excited for tonight's game. I just wonder which team will show up.

Jeff's post-game note to the parents was really nice. He said the girls "played their hearts out yesterday.  Team spirit, especially support for each other, is just fabulous to watch."

Personally, I think Jeff might be learning more than the girls.

Go Tigers!

Spoiler Alert

It's been said that I'm too soft on Alison and her friends. That I spoil them. That I need to take a harder line.

Today's photo will bear witness that I can sometimes cross the line. Even I think today's allowance might have been a step too far into the silly. But I'm not dragging them back to the sane.

Here's why: The world is all too often a scary, mean, unfair place. It's indiscriminate. It's scary, mean and unfair to everyone at one time or another. No exceptions.

I like to think I offer a safe haven from all that. I'm not indulgent 24/7 no matter what my husband might say. I even said no to something already today.

But how much damage can unadulterated -- and somewhat regulated -- fun do to a person?

I just read a piece in the NYTimes a about a man's recall of a childhood where his grandfather planted pumpkins that he and his brother sold to their neighbors. Their father took care of the leftovers and the boys just spent the money.

He doesn't remember how those boys, who contributed absolutely nothing to the labor and never once thought about giving a little of it back to the men who made it possible, spent their spoils. He remembers the pickup truck, his granddad putting ketchup on his fish sandwich and their conversations.

After all these year, he feels a glow everytime he sees a pumpkin. That's the payoff! I bet dad and granddad are happy with that ROI.

I hope that one day Alison and Jenna will be giving their kids a bath and think about the time they got to have breakfast in my garden tub.

Or when we rode with the top down even though it was crazy cold.

Or when there's a backseat full of kids and no one can agree on what fast food they'll feast on, I'll go through as many drive-in windows it takes (within a certain mile radious) to please every palate.

Is that spoiling them? Maybe.

I prefer to think of it as recompense for the slights -- real or imagined -- that will inevitably be visited upon their lives.

I can't fix everything. But I can be silly.
I think they'll come through it just fine.

The week's happyisms:

On Monday I was happy my kid can be funny in difficult situation. She's wavering with her unrequited crush and woke up thinking she might be over it. But she's not sure she's broken the fever. " It's like taste buds. You go along loving ice cream and then one day you wake up and like pickles. This sucks!"

On Tuesday, I pledge to be happy to have my own in-house tech support so I can focus on other stuff and still have super cool toys that work.

On Wednesday I wondered if it would be wrong to be happy that I might have killed the lawn mower this weekend?

On Thursday I was happy because even though the scoreboard read 23-2 and some jerky coach (not mine) had apparently fed his team Honey Boo Boo juice, our girls were happy and encouraging to each other the whole game. I think my coach is learning something....

Friday I was going to be happy to celebrate the weekend starting with a girls night out with Alison; tomorrow with Ali and Jenna; and another round of killer CYO basketball on Sunday. Plus I think the Democrats woke up last night. So that's good. (roar)

Yesterday I was happy just to enjoy this beautiful day with good friends who are my family.

There are lots of reasons to be happy today. Chief right now is the sound of my two favorite girls' laughter echoing through every part of my house.

Renaissance man

So our Thursday wasn't a highwater mark for me, but the weekend has more than made up for it.

We went to a renaissance fair late in the afternoon yesterday. Jeff had mentioned it, but we'd let the day get away and went up with only a few hours left of it.

It was in a muddy, muddy field where cars were being pulled and yanked and towed as we arrived. We found the dryest spot in the marsh and trudged on in.

I'll admit to spending too much of our short time pre-occupied with wondering how in the world these folks were going to get the mud out of their costumes.

There were some extreme costumes. And of course they were doing their best to speak in the period. It was awesome to see a bunch of Hoosiers speaking the King's English.

There was real, live jousting. Huge horses, 11-foot-long lances, armour and even a contest to slice an apple from a squire's head. Apparently the players are involved with a jousting show on the History channel.

It was the highlight of the fair, so of course we couldn't get really close. Alison climbed up on her dad's shoulders -- a seat she's not had since she was about 4, I think.

She loved the view and took video with my iPhone. Jeff liked the jousting, but I think he liked his role better than any of those taken up by the actors.

This morning, Alison and I answered a call to harvest from the Angie's List garden. We spent a good two hourse plucking peppers, collard greens, tomatoes, egg plant and carrots from the ground.

Who knew we were such good gardeners. There's a bunch of still there, but our backs were barking and our bags were full.

It's supposed to freeze tonight -- which prompted the need to reap -- but we opted to risk the rest.

If you're in the neighborhood, go on by and grab dinner. There's still fruit on the trees, too.

I'll leave you with a line from Cowboys & Aliens, not the best flick I've ever seen, but worthy of a little time at home in front of the new TV:

"God doesn't care who you were, son, only who you are."

And my happyisms, of course:

Today: While my back might disagree, I'm happy Kelsey dragged Alison and me out to the Angie's List garden today. We are awesome gardeners! Soup for everyone!!

Saturday: I'm happy today that I have a book club and it's delightful every time.

Friday: Today I'm happy that yesterday I had pancakes for lunch, took advantage of great weather for a topless drive with a great friend, that I didn't start a fire when rubbing my calves together to stay warm while I waited for my Captain to rescue me and that my Captain did arrive with tools in hand to carry out said rescue. So happy for those pancakes...

Thursday: Today I'm happy to understand why Big Bird might not like Mitt Romney this morning.

Wednesday: Today I'm happy to have successfully scrubbed out a zero-point vegetable soup stain from my favorite white blouse last night. Toothpaste, soap from the bathroom at work and OxyClean.

Tuesday: Today I'm happy that no matter how bad my work day gets, I'm not in 6th grade with boy trouble.

Into everylife a little dumbass must fall

So yes, it's true. I locked myself out of my bicyle the other day.

Before you cast your lot in with the rest of the world who believes I'm a dumbass, be warned: this could easily happen to you, too.

Here's what happened:

I went on a business trip and wanted to divest my keychain of unnecessary keys and charms and crap. this included my Bunco dice, my Weight Watchers medals, reward cards and my bike lock key.

I travel lean, man. One carry on bag for three days/two nights.

So I get home and reassemble what I think is all my stuff on my keychain and think nothing more about it except to note that I have to much crap on my key.

So Thursday, I get home and have extra time because Jeff has Alison at basketball practice. He's picking up ribs from my former friend Tom Vielee so I decide to skip the gym and bike up to the Nora Kroger to get green beans.

It was a beautiful day and even though a cold front threatened, I planned to ride hard and be back home well before dark. So I wore shorts and a small tee. I get to the store, get my produce and depart with plenty of time to add a bit to my route home.

That's when I discovered my bike key wasn't on my keychain.

The only think dropping faster than the temperature was my stomach.

The Captain was not going to be happy with me, I thought. On the bright side, I was stranded at Kroger. So I went to the salad bar, got a magazine and settled in to await my rescue.

When my prince got my text and voice mail, I'm sure the only thing keeping him from spouting his standard, "goddammit Cheryl!" was the presence of the basketball girls.

My new iPhone rang clear with the tone of his disdain, however. Both with the first return call and the second which came as he was tearing apart the kitchen drawer where the missing key was supposed to be living.

Meanwhile, the temperature keeps dropping. I tried to rub my calves together to stay warm but was afraid my stubble would spark and catch me on fire after a while. Sure I'd be warmer, but I didn't really want the repercussions of a full-out fire. So I drifted in and out of the store like I was casing the joint.

So it's almost 8 when he arrives with two keys that were not the keys we need. We go get the ribs. Jeff borrows wire cutters and a battery-powered
saw from my former friend Tom who says, "So are you gonna make her bike home in the dark."

Pretty easy to see how his friend status changed... He did not, however, laugh at me to my face. Maybe I'll reconsider. I did keep Scott Cunningham after all.

We tell Alison, who has yet to have dinner, our plan.

"Uh, Mom. Don't you think people will think we're stealing your bike?" asked Alison.

I assured her that theives would be way quicker than we would be and that we didn't really look like thieves working out in the open with our family Subaru parked out front of the store and with our daughter along.

You could see the fear in her eyes. I'm sure she was wondering if she'd like the group home FSSA was going to send her to after we got carted off to jail.

My bike lock was suprisingly hard to break. I'd highly recommend it if you ever want to keep your bike secure from theives. And yourself should you ever lose your key.

That bike lock sneered at the wire cutters and initially sniffed at the saw. I held the cord apart while Jeff started the saw. Had anyone seen me as I stood, I'm sure I looked like something out of a cartoon, hair on end and skeleton showing.

At one point when there was a fair amount of traffic of shoppers going in and out of the store, Alison leans out of the car and shouts, "Hey DAD. Are you doing ok getting MOM's bike free?"

Subtle she's not.

It took a lot longer than we'd expected to saw through the lock. The vibration has at least warmed me up a bit.

On the way home, Alison confesses that she's been playing with my phone and saw a post that discussed my plight and my state of dumb-assedness.

"Mom. Some guy on FaceBook called you a, can I say it? Dumb A.S.S." she said.

I laughed. "Yes you can say it. Sometimes in this life, Alison, you're just going to be a dumbass. I've done it. Your dad's done it. You'll be a dumbass everyone once in a while, too."

She gasped, then giggled, and then said "dumbass" every other sentence.

The captain, my prince, denied ever being a dumbass, which of course led to Alison and me tossing off a litany of evidence to the contrary.

It was quite the night. We finally had dinner finished well after Alison's bedtime.

I'm grounded from riding my bike until I get a combination lock.

We have yet to eat the green beans.

Sometimes it's the little things

Was it me or was last week the longest week in the history of mankind? It seemed like work followed me every where I went. It was so bad, I was happy to clean my pig sty of a house just to have some other kind of work to do.

I cleaned, in part, because we have a new television that required a new stand. We'd been using a hand-me-down microwave stand that worked just fine but when we got the grown-up version of a TV stand, the plastic shelving that had seemed quite at home in our basement-level family room needed to go, too.

And that led to a total reconsideration of where everything went, which led to cleaning. And cleaning led to a purge, gasp!, of old books.

I love books. Love to hold them in my hands. Keep them in my purse. Read them over and over again. It's like visiting old friends. But I did have too many. And frankly, I don't need that many old friends.

If you've loaned me a book in the past few days or 50 years, please speak up if you want it back. Otherwise, I'm going to claim possession,  and it could end up at Goodwill where you'll see it and think, "Oh! I loaned that book to that stealing, varmint Cheryl. I think I'll buy it back now for 50 cents." You'll curse my name and vow to never, ever loan me anything again.

I'd like to think that for 50 cents, you'd keep my friendship and get your book back never knowing it was the actual book you loaned me. But I do like to keep track of MY books, too. So I'll totally understand if you're mad that I've held on to yours for so long. It's in excellent condition, though, and worth every bit of 50 cents.

In the midst of the cleaning frenzy, we were lucky to have been visited by Alex Ogden. It was a last minute thing and Alison was at the Purdue game with Amanda and her family when Alex came available.

He had other options, of course, but when presented with the idea of hanging out at a Reed house with only the Captain and me until Alis returned, he still chose us. I love that boy.

OK. He chose the Wii. I'm not delusional. But still.

Sometimes all it takes to make me happy is a clean house and a boy who doesn't mind spending time with me and my stuff. And those are good times indeed.

This morning I was happy:

that our new BFF Tyler from AT&T Uverse got us back on line with a smile and admirable patience. Also that my absence may have secured a 2-0 record for the SHS alumni team that included a mix of classes from as far back as the 60s as well as few from my own class way later in the last century. Now we'll never know if I would have helped or hurt the effort..... :)

Saturday I was happy so many people were in for  a super fun weekend at Shakamak High School's Homecoming. I watched from two hours away and waiting to hear/see all the stories on Facebook.
(I had committed, at my high school reunion in August, to actually play in the annual alumni tournament if a fellow classmate was successful in organizing a our-class-only team. She didn't. So I didn't.)

Friday I was happy to have been entertained by the Zac Brown Band (and other country music artists) on the way to work.

Thursday I was happy to note that even though Alison had fretted that I would embarrass her at the school Career Day, she attacked me, ninja-like, at the end with a kiss, a hug and and "I love you Mom" as the crowd was dispersing. Sure I had a Marine talking up the excitement of world travel and another guy building artificial limbs around me while I talked about PR. (not so exciting at Table 3) But that unexpected paycheck from the little redhead made it all worth it.

Wednesday I was happy for a slow morning to present at Alison's school for Career Day. She saw what I was planning to wear and denied me, saying it was too fancy. "You're not a business woman! Dad wears a suit and tie every day, but you don't have to," she explained. I had contemplated wearing  sweats.

Tuesday: I was happy that Alison didn't detect the lower fat version of the Pillsbury cresent rolls I made for her breakfast. She has a discerning palate for switcheroos like that and a highly forgiving metabolism. Unlike her mother who also likes cresent rolls... :)

Monday I basked in the happy of the previous night when Alison and Alex asked if Jeff and I would play baseball with them in the front yard, and the game had to be called on account of darkness. Super fun.

And the angels sang -- twice even!

Getting an opinion out of me is not unlike getting a fish to swim. And sometimes I'm a little too quick to share my thoughts.

But that's usually in a crowd I'm comfortable with or if I feel like there' s injustice afoot.

In settings where I don't know anyone, I'm more inclined to slink around the edges observing. This week, though, I was on a mission for work that forced me to not just interact with strangers but to charm them. Three straight days of it.

On the first night, I wasn't successful. I did make friends with a few hotel and conference staffers, but none of the big wigs I was to target were afoot.

Evening of Day 2, I had a colleague along and we did OK both during the day's work and and a little evening party. My wingman left me, though, for personal plans and I was on my own.

As I left her, I had only to turn left, go to my room, head to the gym and then order room service. It sounded so great.

But there was a big party hosted by CNN on my right. I was actually going left -- natural for me -- when my work ethic kicked and propelled me to the party.

It turned into a great professional networking opportunity but the absolute best part was when, in the midst of talking to perhaps the biggest wig in the place, I turn to a tap on my shoulder and see my friend Lesley Stedman Weidenbener.

It was nighttime but I swear the sun rose and angels sang. I had a friend on the island! A person who knew me and even liked me!

I did finish my conversation and makde connections that could serve me well in my professional life. Duties done, I beat a path to dinner to meet up with Lesley and her colleague Tom where we bored him silly with old war stories until another colleague arrived and we bored him too.

So I get through the next day, get home to Jeff and Ali, which was wonderful. I was really happy to get home.

Then, this morning, I was in the middle of my dirty kitchen, finishing up breakfast when Jeff says, "There's someone walking up the drive."

Alison was outside, so of course I looke up to see if she's about to be snatchen and found my friend Denise McFadden and her dog, Daisy, in my front yard.

And again the sun broke out and the angels sang. I love Denise. I even love her husband, Scott.

Knowing them makes that year of toiling in a place I won't name totally worth it.

I love my family. I love my friends.

Life is good.

Here's what made me happy this week:

Today: I'm happy to be in the kitchen with my little family, the NYTimes, coffee and breakfast about to be served.

Yesterday: I am happy to be home. Good trip. But home is, well, home.


Friday: I'm happy that in the midst of schmoozing strangers last night, a friend appeared out of nowhere. Great suprise that made this trip so much more fun. Not that the expected friends weren't already great...

Thursday:
Today I'm happy I was able to put all that early footage from the premiere of 'Revolution' behind me when I traveled the friendly skies yesterday -- did you see when the lights went out all the planes crashed?! Between that show and memories from that book Amy made me read about EMF plunging the world electricity-less, I was plotting out my last seconds! :)

Wednesday: Today I'm happy that when Alison is sleepy she still calls me mommy.

Tuesday: Apparently I wasn't happy....

Monday: Today I'm going to be happy and focused on the fact that when I survive the day, my family will entertain me at home.

Veggie Tales

Alison-isms:

I tried a recipe for kale chips yesterday. While we've gotten tons better in our eating habits, kale is new menu entry. (confession: first attempt was not so good.)

Alison came in as I had the fiber and vitamin-rich produce spread on a baking sheet.

"What's the green stuff?" she asked.

I defined it for her and said I was going to turn the pile of leaves into potato chips. She volunteered to spray it with the cooking oil. I salted it.

Five to eight minutes later I pulled it out of the oven.

"Mo-om. You said it was going to turn into potato chips!" said the disappointed sous chef.

***
There's been an unpleasent smell in the fridge that I can't quite locate.

In my latest unsuccessful bid to identify it, I speculated aloud tht might be the asparagus that was waiting to be grilled, but silently decided it wasn't the culprit. Out loud, I mused: "We should have that for dinner tonight."

"You're' gonna make me eat that smell?! exclaimed the small fry.